here am i....

So, a few of you may have noticed that I have been away... at least from my blog... for a few weeks. I did not intend it to be so many days, but for the suddenly undisciplined, each day passed into another and another, and well, here it is, three weeks since my last post.

Since I don't have a giant readership, I felt that I probably wasn't all that missed from the blogosphere and didn't push myself to be here. Over the past two days, however, three of my readers emailed or checked in via Facebook to ask if everything is ok in my world. I sheepishly say, 'yes.'

I have been 'away' for a few reasons... a couple of good ones, and (the reason for the sheepishness) a couple of not-so-good ones. The good reasons are that I have been helping a sick friend with her kids the past few weekends, and I have been away from the computer and/or not really able to blog on those days. Another ok reason was that, once I passed my one-blog-post-every-day-for-one-year mark, I decided to allow myself some leeway to not necessarily post every day.

The not-so-good reasons are that I have become very undisciplined--and, as I said, as one day turned into another, it became easy to skip it for a night...and another...and another... This was also a sign of the lack of discipline in seeking those "heart rock life" moments and encounters, and I found myself not really looking for those little, but meaningful, God-moments in my day. I've allowed myself to be "busy" with less important things in the evening, such as too much Facebook time or game-playing time on the computer--rather than sharing God-encounters.

And, so, with my confessions... and with my heart of gratitude toward those of you who sought me out... I say, as Samuel did, "Here am I, Lord."

"Each day holds a surprise. But only if we expect it can we see, hear, or feel it when it comes to us. Let's not be afraid to receive each day's surprise, whether it comes to us as sorrow or as joy. It will open a new place in our hearts, a place where we can welcome new friends and celebrate more fully our shared humanity." ~Henri Nouwen, Bread for the Journey